Do we ever really get over high school?

Okay, fine, I admit it. I like being in control of things, and I'm pretty good at it. Particularly, I like to think I'm good at keeping my emotions in check. If someone cuts me off and then flips me the bird, I'll admit that steam comes out of my ears, and if I flip past Animal Planet and a mama whatever is nursing or licking it's cub, oh, the tears well up, but for the most part, I'm pretty good at being reasonable and calm.

So, enter this last weekend. I found out through a series of Facebook posts and information from my hubby that a group of my friends were taking a trip. A shopping trip. A girls shopping trip. An all girls, no babies, overnight shopping trip. And I hadn't been invited or told about it.

Holy emotions, Batman!!! I could not believe how bummed out I got. Am I particularly close to these girls? No, or at least not yet. We hang out pretty often, text each other every once in a while, share books and recipes and laugh really easily together. But the clincher in our relationship, at least for me, is that we have babies that are all pretty much the same age. So, should our friendship progress, our kiddos will be growing up together. And that was it. The realization of how much I want Israel to have a close group of friends is what made me come to terms with my fah-reaking out.

Growing up, I went to a private school, so when my freshman year started at NVHS I didn't know a single person there. Luckily, I was adopted by a group of girls and they were so nice, but I always felt a little bit like a charity case rather than a friend they would choose to hang out with. We had sleepovers and study groups and my four years there were fantastic and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat, but (and this is embarassing) when the time came for graduation rehearsal, and you had to choose the one person you were going to walk with...I didn't have anyone. I ended up walking with a guy who didn't have anyone either.

So when this weekend trip happened, it honestly felt like high school graduation all over again and I was the odd man out.

Now, truth be told, I was completely wrong with what I assumed the girls trip to be. It turned out to be planned by one of the gals mother-in-law and it was an annual tradition and not everyone in our group of friends was going, in fact, hardly any of them were. When I found that out I was really relieved, but I still couldn't get over how emotional I had gotten about the whole thing.

All that to say, I wonder if those little ego bruisings we take on during our youth don't embed themselves as permanent scars in our hearts, and when any situation arises that can bump them and make them hurt again, if it's possible to not overreact. It's embarrassing for me to be this frank and honest because I'm basically letting you all know that I'm not as cool, calm and collected as you think I am, but I think it was important for ME to realize that too. I think it's all too easy to put out a persona that might be 90% you, but really, if you want to be comfortable and confident, then you need to confess up to the crazy 10% that I know is in all of us.

The perfect makeup. Seriously.

You know those makeup ads in magazines where the girls face looks so smooth it's practically poreless? Well, that's not me. I've never had great skin. Ever since I was a teenager I've had these little bumps that look like a mild rash all across my cheeks and a little bit on my forehead. Once I hit my 20's and had visited every dermatologist, aestitician, and had tried pretty much every skin-clearing product available with none of them working, I accepted it for what it was and tried to focus on my better features.

Now, I loooove me some make-up. Seriously, I can be in the cosmetics section of Macy's or Target for at least an hour. And I've run the gamut of products and have found a lot that I love, but my recent purchases proved to be the PERFECT trifecta of products for my skin.

About a month ago I was at the Benefit counter browsing and the gal mentioned they have a tinted moisturizer that she really likes and that I might enjoy. Usually their sales pitches go in one ear and out the other, but I'd been thinking of trying a TM and why not this one? That same trip I also purchased a bottle of their highlighter, and then shimmied over to Target and picked up a mineral powder I read about in a magazine.

Once I got back home, it was like the theme from Captain Planet - "when your powers combine..." - seriously, incredible. My skin looked really smooth, perfectly toned and even, and it was seriously glowing. Not glittery or sparkly, but dewy and yummy. Those are all adjectives that have NEVER described my face, so elated doesn't begin to explain how happy I was. I almost didn't trust it, but the next day, I used them all again and voila!! Masterpiece. So, it is with a happy heart, that I tell you those exact products and colors because if you're anything like me (aka makeup slut), you can always use a few new products now and then.

Tinted moisturizer: Benefit YouRebel Lite
Mineral powder: Maybelline Mineral Power Illuminator in Peach
Highlighter: Benefit High Beam