The grey.

Mornings like today are some of my favorites.  Sweeping my floors awaiting a visit from a friend I got a glimpse of a perfect snapshot: on my kitchen counter a white mug full of tea steeping away and producing a swirl of steam, my pigtailed daughter in the background sitting at the dining room table coloring, beyond that my quiet street lit by the sun, but shaded through the thick clouds that were heavy outside.  I like the grey.  This time of year is usually giving way from the cold and rainy to the blue and bright and most people seem to look for summer with baited breath, but I always feel like the heat could wait.  I know this next phrase probably makes me an outcast, but I'm cool with it - I don't really like summer.

It's too much of a good thing.  Sweating constantly under the hot sunshine, bees / bugs / mosquitos, slathering on toxic chemicals that probably cause just as much skin cancer as the vitamin D rays they're supposed to shelter us from, so much dirt on my children...everywhere...crowds of people and everyone's trying to do the same thing - stay cool.  I'm truly an inside in the a/c girl once the outside temp hits about 80.

Life's seasons can be like that too. A lot of times I find myself wanting summer from God.  Summer, summer, all the time!!  I want good and bright and happy and positive, and I want it now.  I don't want to be in the cold rain of confusion or pain for extended periods.  But as I was enjoying the beauty of this morning, I couldn't help but ponder the cloudy seasons of my life and the loveliness that lies within.

Take my marriage to the man I chose and who chose me.  Lordy Lord, we can get under each other's skin.  I have talked before about wanting a padded room so we can form tackle each other from time to time because we are complete opposites in so many ways.  What he calls "organization" I call chaos.  And what I believe to be "down time" he'd term laziness.  And those differences (and countless others) are tricky to work out.  How do you remain true to what you believe is right and try and push your partner towards seeing your view without the veins in your neck bursting or your eye twitching when you've stated and re-stated your point only to have it met with disbelief and even *gasp* eye rolls?!

Oh no, you didn't.

And then love that person in the midst of those disagreements.  I mean really love them.  Pick up after them, provide for them, give them good kisses, tell them they're important to you - it's tricky.  But those times when there's a storm cloud over the house, those produce the most beautiful work.  My grey sharpens his, like iron on iron.  And the sparks that fly off are magic.

And just like that the afternoon happens...and there's sun.  And it's my favorite kind of sun.  Because the clouds of the morning have been here it's tempered the heat, so it's now bright and beautiful, but it's also mild and breezy.  I could hang out in that all day.

Seasons happen, and I want to be thankful and hopeful and at peace in each one.  To find beauty in the unconventional and to find happiness when it's not obvious.  Because I know that God works in those dark and difficult places.  Usually it's where He shows up the most.  And how lovely is His dwelling place.