Watching Lady Gaga get interviewed on Ellen yesterday got me thinking about some of the ideas she was saying. She's very much about knowing and fiercely loving who you are and while I think that is a good way to live, that train of thought is really getting pushed in this day and age and it's making relationships with friends and strangers alike...blurry. Know yourself - yes. Love yourself - for sure. But I think it's dangerous when you start defining yourself as one thing or another and passionately clinging to that idea.
We are becoming these walking resolute beings that are cemented in our views on various topics, both serious and not so much: Republican vs. Democrat, vegetarian vs. meat eater, Starbucks vs. Dutch Bros., etc.
Because we have defined our point of view on something and grown to "love" ourselves and our opinions, when someone now disagrees with your philosophy on a topic, they're more or less disagreeing with who you are. Think about it, if you disagree with someone on something, it's usually a pretty strong difference and can easily end up in a argument, sometimes a heated one, and almost always results in one or the other thinking less of the opposite person. I've noticed this more as a parent because now that my decisions are affecting a completely helpless infant whose life depends on the choices I make, ideas like to vaccinate or not, to give formula or not and to let him watch TV or not all carry a lot more weight. And truthfully, I've had a couple friendships dissipate because of strong disagreements on these topics and others.
I'm not suggesting that we become ambivalent on all issues, because passion & conviction give our lives movement. And I think we should capitalize on the "love" emphasized in our current culture, but I believe rather then loving ourselves, a better mantra would be to really love others. It's the second half of the greatest commandment the Bible gives: Love God & love others. I have a lot of friends that aren't Christians, and I'm not using this as a platform to preach what I believe to be the saving truth for my life, but I CAN make an easy argument for the bonus of loving others more than yourself. If you're really honest, it's easy to see something positive about either side of any topic. Try playing devil's advocate, or if you're often in that role, try not so much :) You might find yourself liking people more and not getting as annoyed with friends and family you usually disagree with. And nothing is more fulfilling then having someone notice a change in your demeanor and themselves then honestly listen to what it is you have to say about something. Kindness can be so powerful.
Romans 12:18 - If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The fall
I saw it happening, but my mind wouldn't register the reality of the situation. I was reaching through the side door on the drivers side to get my purse that was wedged in between the front passenger seat and the seat holding Israel's car seat base, and I happened to glance up and catch what looked like a doll rushing past the open door space where Ryan was getting Israel and his car seat out. It was strange cause the doll was wearing the same orange colored romper that Israel was wearing and it had really similar hair. I didn't hear a thud, but I did hear my husband swear and say, "Oh my god, I dropped him. He wasn't strapped in, oh my god, I dropped him!"
We had come to Fred Meyer to pick up a few groceries. Had I left the house a moment earlier, Ryan wouldn't have been with us, but he happened to pull into the driveway just as I was backing out, so he parked his car and hopped in for the quick trip. When we got parked we spoke really quick about pulling Izzy out of his car seat and placing him in the shopping cart, so Ryan opened up the door behind the passenger seat and unstrapped Izzy to pull him out. He then mentioned it'd probably be better to have him in the stroller, so rather than pull Izzy out, he unhooked the entire car seat in order to place it in the stroller. Whether it was the momentum of him heaving up the seat, or Izzy leaning forward or a combination of both, Israel toppled from his the seat, and fell fast, smacking the concrete and landing flat on his back and head.
We rushed to the hospital, I was driving and Ryan was holding a screaming, crying Israel in the back seat. As scared as I was, Ryan was much more so, and I found myself repeating to him "Calm down, it's going to be ok, keep him awake" as Ryan continued to say Israel's name and hug him with tears streaming down his own cheeks. We pulled into the ER parking lot, Ryan hopped out with the baby and I quickly parked and ran inside. We were in to be examined within 2 minutes. The gal asked us a few questions, checked out the knot on the back of Israel's head that was rapidly growing to be the size of an adult index finger, and then sent us back to the waiting room.
That was the scariest part because as we were waiting, Israel began throwing up. And throwing up, and throwing up, and throwing up. It couldn't be stopped, I was completely covered in vomit, and the poor baby lost in a sea of confusion and pain couldn't help but cry that much harder. We were summoned pretty quickly back into the ER where we were treated by a really kind doctor that said we were going to get a CT scan just to be sure there was no internal bleeding. I have to praise the staff at Three Rivers because within 90 minutes of the accident we were in an ER room, with a CT scan completed and our pediatrician had come by to take a look at Israel.
Izzy kept fading in and out of sleep, but when he was awake he just wasn't himself. His cry was different, it sounded almost disconnected, like it was out of reflex rather than reason. He couldn't keep his eyes focused on anyone, and if he did, there was zero recognition in his face.
His CT scan results came back with zero harm done to his brain but a slight skull fracture. The good thing about the fracture was that it could easily heal itself. Our pediatrician recommended to feed him for a minute and see if he was able to keep it down. He wasn't. Ryan ended up covered in baby puke as well, so we decided to stay overnight.
The turn in his demeanor happened around 6:30. The nurses attempted to give him an IV, but his teeny veins wouldn't allow it. Not that they gave up easily. After a day of hearing him scream in pain, you'd think I was jaded to it, but he did not like them tightening that band around his forearm and thigh. It's almost like that moment of trauma woke him up though cause afterwards he was alert and aware of who Ryan and I were. He was making great eye contact and even laughing occasionally. I was so happy that I wanted to pass up staying the night, but Ryan still thought it'd be a good idea so we were shuttled up to our room (which was awesome), shown how to use the bed and crib (which could have slept Ryan comfortably) and left with our family.
Izzy nursed great about 10 minutes after we got to our room, and he didn't gag or show signs of nausea whatsoever. He fell asleep soon afterward and slept for a few hours, then woke up, fed again and this time slept 'til 5:30 this morning.
A couple posts back I wrote about how much I've prayed in 2 Timothy 1:7: "The Lord has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind". Our Lord is an incredible God that answers prayer because throughout this entire situation if there is one emotion I didn't feel it was fear, and if there was one overwhelming emotion it was that of a sound mind.
I will never be able to express how much the prayers and words of encouragement sent our direction meant. I absolutely believe that the reason Izzy doesn't have any permanent damage is because of the onslaught of prayer that covered our family in the hours following his accident. Ryan and I were talking about how it happened and angels must have cushioned his head because he fell a long way and he fell hard. But the way that he has come of of this situation is miraculous and we will be forever grateful to our wonderful friends and family and mostly to our King.
We had come to Fred Meyer to pick up a few groceries. Had I left the house a moment earlier, Ryan wouldn't have been with us, but he happened to pull into the driveway just as I was backing out, so he parked his car and hopped in for the quick trip. When we got parked we spoke really quick about pulling Izzy out of his car seat and placing him in the shopping cart, so Ryan opened up the door behind the passenger seat and unstrapped Izzy to pull him out. He then mentioned it'd probably be better to have him in the stroller, so rather than pull Izzy out, he unhooked the entire car seat in order to place it in the stroller. Whether it was the momentum of him heaving up the seat, or Izzy leaning forward or a combination of both, Israel toppled from his the seat, and fell fast, smacking the concrete and landing flat on his back and head.
We rushed to the hospital, I was driving and Ryan was holding a screaming, crying Israel in the back seat. As scared as I was, Ryan was much more so, and I found myself repeating to him "Calm down, it's going to be ok, keep him awake" as Ryan continued to say Israel's name and hug him with tears streaming down his own cheeks. We pulled into the ER parking lot, Ryan hopped out with the baby and I quickly parked and ran inside. We were in to be examined within 2 minutes. The gal asked us a few questions, checked out the knot on the back of Israel's head that was rapidly growing to be the size of an adult index finger, and then sent us back to the waiting room.
That was the scariest part because as we were waiting, Israel began throwing up. And throwing up, and throwing up, and throwing up. It couldn't be stopped, I was completely covered in vomit, and the poor baby lost in a sea of confusion and pain couldn't help but cry that much harder. We were summoned pretty quickly back into the ER where we were treated by a really kind doctor that said we were going to get a CT scan just to be sure there was no internal bleeding. I have to praise the staff at Three Rivers because within 90 minutes of the accident we were in an ER room, with a CT scan completed and our pediatrician had come by to take a look at Israel.
Izzy kept fading in and out of sleep, but when he was awake he just wasn't himself. His cry was different, it sounded almost disconnected, like it was out of reflex rather than reason. He couldn't keep his eyes focused on anyone, and if he did, there was zero recognition in his face.
His CT scan results came back with zero harm done to his brain but a slight skull fracture. The good thing about the fracture was that it could easily heal itself. Our pediatrician recommended to feed him for a minute and see if he was able to keep it down. He wasn't. Ryan ended up covered in baby puke as well, so we decided to stay overnight.
The turn in his demeanor happened around 6:30. The nurses attempted to give him an IV, but his teeny veins wouldn't allow it. Not that they gave up easily. After a day of hearing him scream in pain, you'd think I was jaded to it, but he did not like them tightening that band around his forearm and thigh. It's almost like that moment of trauma woke him up though cause afterwards he was alert and aware of who Ryan and I were. He was making great eye contact and even laughing occasionally. I was so happy that I wanted to pass up staying the night, but Ryan still thought it'd be a good idea so we were shuttled up to our room (which was awesome), shown how to use the bed and crib (which could have slept Ryan comfortably) and left with our family.
Izzy nursed great about 10 minutes after we got to our room, and he didn't gag or show signs of nausea whatsoever. He fell asleep soon afterward and slept for a few hours, then woke up, fed again and this time slept 'til 5:30 this morning.
A couple posts back I wrote about how much I've prayed in 2 Timothy 1:7: "The Lord has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind". Our Lord is an incredible God that answers prayer because throughout this entire situation if there is one emotion I didn't feel it was fear, and if there was one overwhelming emotion it was that of a sound mind.
I will never be able to express how much the prayers and words of encouragement sent our direction meant. I absolutely believe that the reason Izzy doesn't have any permanent damage is because of the onslaught of prayer that covered our family in the hours following his accident. Ryan and I were talking about how it happened and angels must have cushioned his head because he fell a long way and he fell hard. But the way that he has come of of this situation is miraculous and we will be forever grateful to our wonderful friends and family and mostly to our King.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
2 Timothy 1:7
Tattoos bother me. They didn't use to, but I'm quickly growing adverse to trends that become the norm rather than the rarity. Regardless, if I could tattoo one saying on my body, it would absolutely be 2 Timothy 1:7.
Since becoming a mom, my irrational fears have easily quadrupled. I used to be afraid of normal things and with fairly understandable reasoning: hiking in the woods (one too many Reader's Digest grizzly bear stories), scary movies (someone somewhere thought up those story lines, so as bizarre and farfetched as they may be...someone's mind is still capable), the dark (who isn't?), spiders, snakes and all forms of bug life (that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Kate Capshaw had to reach in that slot to free Indy and all those horrible bugs were crawling all over her), the dentist (every time it hurts - every single time!), etc.
Now, my fears all center around something happening to Israel, Ryan or I, but the most crippling are the thoughts that something would happen to Izzy and me having to live with it: someone kidnapping him, someone breaking into our house and hurting him and me being held back and unable to help or protect him - while those two are somewhat serious, I do have some pretty ridiculous notions: a snake weaving it's way into Izzy's crib, someone poisoning my breast pads and the poison transferring onto my skin and then to Izzy when he eats, masked intruders holding the grocery store hostage and taking him away from me. Although all of these aren't feasible, it's hard to shake the thoughts.
When is the other shoe going to drop? When is it going to be my Job moment? What's going to happen to hurt this perfect baby that Ryan and I have been blessed with and going to cause the two of us to cling to the Lord like never before? Or is it just the worrying in and of itself that is going to cause me to eventually lose my mind?
That's where that verse comes in. I have to repeat it over and over and over. I need it written on every surface in my home. The Lord did NOT give me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. A sound mind. A sound mind. A sound mind.
Since becoming a mom, my irrational fears have easily quadrupled. I used to be afraid of normal things and with fairly understandable reasoning: hiking in the woods (one too many Reader's Digest grizzly bear stories), scary movies (someone somewhere thought up those story lines, so as bizarre and farfetched as they may be...someone's mind is still capable), the dark (who isn't?), spiders, snakes and all forms of bug life (that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Kate Capshaw had to reach in that slot to free Indy and all those horrible bugs were crawling all over her), the dentist (every time it hurts - every single time!), etc.
Now, my fears all center around something happening to Israel, Ryan or I, but the most crippling are the thoughts that something would happen to Izzy and me having to live with it: someone kidnapping him, someone breaking into our house and hurting him and me being held back and unable to help or protect him - while those two are somewhat serious, I do have some pretty ridiculous notions: a snake weaving it's way into Izzy's crib, someone poisoning my breast pads and the poison transferring onto my skin and then to Izzy when he eats, masked intruders holding the grocery store hostage and taking him away from me. Although all of these aren't feasible, it's hard to shake the thoughts.
When is the other shoe going to drop? When is it going to be my Job moment? What's going to happen to hurt this perfect baby that Ryan and I have been blessed with and going to cause the two of us to cling to the Lord like never before? Or is it just the worrying in and of itself that is going to cause me to eventually lose my mind?
That's where that verse comes in. I have to repeat it over and over and over. I need it written on every surface in my home. The Lord did NOT give me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. A sound mind. A sound mind. A sound mind.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A good morning
Reading through Psalms 96 this morning and the tone of this chapter and the past several has been refreshing. Any scripture that references nature and the Lord's hand in creating the majesty throughout our world hits my heart in a powerful way. I've always felt the Lord's presence through two primary sources: the beauty of this earth and the sweetness of music. Combine the two and it's just a win-win-win.
The optimum is driving through the Redwoods en route to the Oregon coast with "Talk" by Coldplay on the cd player, the windows down, the sun shining...or sitting down with a cup of tea, reading the Word, listening to "I don't trust myself" by John Mayer, glancing out at the rain coming down...either situation is a wonderful mix of how the Lord is reflected in the weather and how the sound of music, not necessarily the lyrics, can pull on your heart.
The optimum is driving through the Redwoods en route to the Oregon coast with "Talk" by Coldplay on the cd player, the windows down, the sun shining...or sitting down with a cup of tea, reading the Word, listening to "I don't trust myself" by John Mayer, glancing out at the rain coming down...either situation is a wonderful mix of how the Lord is reflected in the weather and how the sound of music, not necessarily the lyrics, can pull on your heart.
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