6 months already?

Israel's about 6 1/2 months at this point, and he's starting to do so many things independently. He can sit up on his own, he's eating some solid foods, if he could only run to the grocery store for me, I'd applaud these advances in his little person, but it's a funny mix of accomplishment and sadness that accompany each milestone. I'm one of those fearful moms that think sometimes he's not going to advance to the next stage. That I'm going to be THAT mom with the boy that's 6 years old and can't walk or talk. Ridiculous - yes, but again, this mom thing has proven to me that hormones are serrrrrrious. So, whenever Israel begins to show advancement in an area, I'm relieved, but at the same time, I know that with each day that passes, he's growing farther and farther from physically needing me. Yes, he'll need my emotional and spiritual guidance from here 'til forever, but there's something about his physical need for me that's very fulfilling. I know it's selfish of me, but the whole children thing is really pretty narcissistic in my opinion anyway.

Oh my...looking at my little nugget right now as he naps so contentedly on our bed...being a parent is the most incredible blessing. I look forward to the next 6 months bringing on the changes and challenges that will surely be conquered and learned from. It's hard to believe that it was only 6 months ago that I first held him and in another 6 months he'll probably be walking around on his own. Time does fly by, but it's the sweetest ride.

Whew!!

Okay, so obviously I haven't posted anything for awhile. That would be because I'm busier than I have ever been in my life. Actually, busy isn't the word...occupied maybe works better. Israel Ryan Baker was born March 28, 2010 at 1:34 am weighing 7 pounds & 6 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was and continues to be absolutely perfect. I love everything about him. I even love the curdled breast milk built up in the folds of his neck, that he screams bloody murder when Ryan and I try to remove said curds, I love that he puckers his lips and widens his eyes when he's pooping, I love that he curls up still into an oblong ball shape and falls asleep on my chest. I love being a mom. It's exhausting - way more so than I would have expected, but it's also more gratifying then any success I've had in my life thus far. It's changed me and my thinking in many ways - here are a few:

- I drive the speed limit now. Sometimes below it. It's not going to achieve anything if I get to my destination 5 minutes earlier except that I might be 15 minutes late rather than 20. Also, my hands are always in the 10 & 2 o'clock position because it brings great peace of mind feeling more in control of your vehicle.

- I'm late all the time. The simple process of grabbing my keys, hopping into the car and cruising to wherever is long gone. Now it's change the diaper, put on his onesie, pack up the diaper bag, put on my socks and shoes, load him into his car seat, check the diaper bag (shoot! forgot to put more wipes in!), look for my sunglasses (they're on top of my head - literally, this has happened twice), hear the sound of poop exploding from his bottom, drop everything and take him back in his nursery to change his diaper, rip the now-poop-stained changing pad sheet off and put it in the hamper, strap him back in his car seat, fill up my water bottle, grab him & the diaper bag and go out to the car, put his car seat in, realize I forgot my phone & his binky, take his car seat out, bring him back into the house to grab those last two items and then finally get him in the car and hop in the drivers seat. Only to have grabbed the wrong set of keys.

- I love my post-pregnant body. Granted it is far more out of shape than my pre-pregnancy body and that body wasn't all that in shape to begin with, but there's a new sense of calm that I have about losing weight. It's not really about losing weight at all, it's about being healthy. I have had one chance to go the gym since Izzy was born and it went well. I look forward to going back, but there's a different mindset now. It's not a forced to, have to, lose weight to feel great kind of thinking, it's more about exercising my lungs so I can push his stroller up Starlite, lifting weights so I can tote him around more easily, working on my core so I don't get a sore back from holding him all day. I love it. There is absolutely ZERO stress about getting skinny right away though. Zero. I never thought that would be the case, but I'm so refreshed with my own heart about that matter that it makes me smile.

Those are just a few of the wonderful new changes that have occurred over the last 6 weeks and 5 days. I'm sure there are many more to come.

A change is gonna come

Baby Baker is making his debut in less than a month. Our office is moving to a new location in less than a month. Now there's a chance that we'll be making an offer on a house in less than a month.

We're going all out...and I can't help but be terrified!!

I'm not a huge fan of change as it is; it's my fearful nature to automatically assume the worst is going to occur once you venture from steady to super.

What pushes a person to make the decisions we do? Is it fear of the future, boredom of the present, resentment of loss from the past? Is it as simple as a "pros" and "cons" list?

Thank you, Lord, for granting me the promise that You have all things planned already; all I need to do is heed Your voice. I pray for wisdom with all these changes. I ask that You would lead and guide - shut and open the right doors for us to proceed through. Thank you for how You've already showered down blessings on our family. Please allow me to recognize Your steady, unwavering hand carrying us through every checkpoint we come across in this life. This life. Just a blip. Thank you for the promise of eternity with You.