31

In my 30s. It’s strange to think that in a little over a week that will be me. Turning 30 was a breeze, but 31 feels like instead of lifting my foot onto the next step stone of life, I’m being picked up and tossed onto a level infinitely higher than the previous one. It’s not scary or daunting, just…different. But with every year that comes I accept it which helps me to own it which allows me to love it. So in that light I have spent a bit of time happily realizing the changes that have occurred in my personality, judgment and all around attitude about life in the last decade. I can fondly remember back ten years ago to my 21st birthday. Now THAT was a fun night. Little too much fun as it ended with my good friend’s brand new Jetta getting coated inside and out with my vomit and me getting dropped off at my apartment before midnight for my roommate to come home to 3 hours later and find me half-naked in the hallway sleeping the various cocktails off. Good times.

I’ve changed quite a bit since then and as I look at how my tastes have changed, here are the standouts:

1. I love Sunset magazine.
It’s the only periodical that I subscribe too. Occasionally I’ll pick up an issue of In Style or People, but every time I do I realize that it’s the same ideas, same fashion tips, same makeup on the same hairstyle on the same girl who’s doing the same role in the same movie – it’s all surface. But Sunset caters to me; it has smart home decorating ideas, instructions for planting vegetable and flower gardens, great restaurant tips and perfect spots to go for a weekend getaway here in the northwest. It’s a glossy look at my life: eating, exploring the beautiful area we live in and making my house a home.
2. I like watching the news and drinking a cup of coffee in the morning.
Not having TV growing up wasn’t a bad thing because when we vacationed at my moms parents’ home in Manteca, California every summer it was cartoons all day for my siblings and I. I remember racing to get up earlier than Jenny and Kelley because that way I’d be in charge of the remote. That is until my parents and grandparents got up because then they took over the living room TV to watch the news. Blech. I could not understand how they could stomach something so incredibly boring. Fast forward 20 years and I love it. As far as the coffee goes, if you’re a parent it goes without saying. It’s not a trend or an accessory, it’s vital.
3. I’m not as picky about my music.
This is kind of true. About 7 years ago when tons of independent bands and labels started coming on the scene and hipsters started dictating what music was cool or not I remember feeling uncomfortable. I’ve always had a spot in my heart for unpretentious lyrics, funky grooves and singers that sing with the most overused word in music nowadays – soul. As more and more bands came on the scene it became too hard to keep up. How was I supposed to listen to every new artist and if I couldn’t, whose opinion could I trust? Scratch all that now. Pop radio still has a song that’ll catch my attention now and then, but in my heart I’m still a fan of the older stuff. Aretha, James Taylor or Stevie Wonder are my choices of Pandora stations. That type of music just hooks me. Same with country (which 10 years ago would have made me vomit in my platform pumps). I love country music with its twangy, heart-felt, repetitious ideas of down home, back woods, small town type of living & loving.
4. Speaking of tastes changing…
I now prefer mustard instead of mayo. Almonds and walnuts in desserts don’t bother me like they used to. Veggies that have squishy textures (couldn’t look at them 10 years ago) like squash, zucchini and avocado are now a staple in my diet. I guess you could say my palette has become a bit more mature, although if you ask me if a wine varietal has a smoky vs. fruity aftertaste my answer might as well come from my butt. No clue.
5. But the biggest change is…
My life isn’t mine anymore. It belongs to my husband and kids. I’m not stating that in an upset, woe-is-me, I’m nothing but a stay-at-home mom kind of way and I’m also not saying it in a defensive manner to validate my choice to be at home with my kids to my friends that have killer careers and the desire to work outside of their house. It’s just the plain, simple truth. I don’t spend afternoons in coffee shops browsing the internet, reading a book or listening to music. I don’t put on adorable heels and sparkly mini-dresses for a weekly girls night out. I say “no” to a lot of music opportunities, get togethers with friends, trips with family and even activities with other kids involved because all of those things just don’t work with my life as it is now. I get to watch and hold two living, breathing pieces of my heart on a daily basis and I get to maintain a house that when my husband comes home, makes him feel a sense of ease and relaxation as soon as he sets foot into the door. It’s not all about me anymore, but it brings me joy.

So with all that said there are still things that remain a part of me from my 20s. I still get my club dance on and look ridiculous, but now I have an audience of two very wide-eyed, smiling kids watching me wondering why mom is acting crazy. My righteous temper that used to get me speeding tickets and middle finger salutes from other drivers still rears it’s ugly head, but the only person who can really bring it out of me is my man. And he knows to do that sparingly. I still like to think of myself as unique from my peers, even though Facebook & Pinterest have shown me that I’m actually very similar to them. We all like to drink wine, bake decadent desserts and only eat one piece, work out that post baby body to a skinnier version of our 20-something self, wear scarves regardless of the season, decorate our kids’ rooms, shabby chic the shiz out of our homes and fantasize about trips with our hubbies to Greece, Italy & Fiji.

I love the carefree joy that came with my 20s, but I am thoroughly enjoying the thoughtful ease that has taken over in these recent years. That girl recovering from her first hangover on January 20, 2002 is still here, she just knows now not to mix her alcohols.

If I had a factory...

There's nothing more obnoxious then falling in love with a product, whether that's a beverage or food item, a cosmetic treat or a TV program and then all of the sudden not being able to find it anymore. I have a particular knack for sending products that I fancy into a pit of non existence. Which makes me wonder, do I have really bad taste? Or is it just the nature of this earth to "no longer produce" products that Megan likes so much?

Here's my current list of items that I really wish were still around:

1. Mary Kay lip gloss: Rewind to 1986, my mom used to get this lip gloss from Mary Kay: light pink tube with a gold lid, small fuzzy brush applicator and the most incredible smell. They say that our memories can be triggered more by an aroma then anything else, and I totally believe it. That's how I'd know if this lip gloss ever came back into production and was available to me again. It smells exactly like the Strawberry Shortcake doll I used to have as a little kid: pink and fruity with a hint of plastic.

2. Tab energy drink: When I was living on my own in my early 20's I was working 2 jobs, dating lots o' boys, going to school full-time, going out on weekends (and the occasional weeknight) and fully enjoying life aka not getting as much sleep as a growing girl needs. That's why this delightfully fruity, carbonated, pink beverage came in so handy. It was milder then Red Bull and gave me enough of a buzz to get where I needed to go and do what I needed to do. Plus, it was in a super cute, skinny pink can. I knew it was doomed though when it started to show up only on the shelves of Food 4 Less at 50% off.

3. Great Steak and Potato Company: The food court at the mall rarely holds culinary treasures, but the Great Steak & Potato Co. was my exception to that rule. They made this chicken teriyaki sandwich that absolutely rocked. Accompanied with their delicious fries and an iced tea, it was the perfect fuel for a shopping spree. So imagine my shock when I was heading up to their counter this last December, wallet in hand, looking down at my phone as I was texting the friend I was meeting and walked, literally, into a wall. Shocked and slightly embarrassed I glanced up and sure enough, no more counter, no more sign, just a plastered wall stating that this space was now available for rent. Major, major boo.

4. Trailer blurb in E! News weekend wrap-up blog: This actually reveals a bit too much about my obsession with pop culture, but whatevs. E! News is an app I have on my phone and every Saturday they post an article called "Weekend Wrap-up" and it contains a bunch of different blurbs about the major stories of the week, summaries of shows, etc. My favorite blurb was super short, it just mentioned all the new movie trailers that had come out that week and whether or not they did their movies justice. You all know that previews are one of the best things about going to the movies, so I'd always go from this blurb to YouTube and check out the new snippets. Only bummer is that now, for whatever reason, they no longer put that information in the article. Lame.

5. Jennifer Love Hewitt spin off: I'm not a Jennifer Love Hewitt fan, and I never watched "Party of Five", but for whatever reason I got caught up in her spin-off show from PO5: "Time of Your Life". It had a great story line, her blank head tilt stare thing she does in every movie ever didn't bug me and Jonathan Schaech was yummy. Of course it got cancelled before even finishing the first season.

6. Chocolate lasagna from Olive Garden: One of my favorite flavors is amaretto and Olive Garden used to have this dessert that was layer upon layer of moist chocolate cake alternating with creamy amaretto frosting and then topped with a thicker layer of frosting and chocolate chunks. In a word: divine. In three words: no longer available.

So today at the mall when the adorable MAC sales guy came up and asked what he could help with and I handed him my almost empty container of my favorite shade of lipglass and he said, "Oooooh, let me check and make sure we have this because I know they're getting ready to stop production of this color" (*sigh*), I didn't fuss or throw a temper tantrum, I just bought every single one they had in stock.

Whew!!

Okay, so obviously I haven't posted anything for awhile. That would be because I'm busier than I have ever been in my life. Actually, busy isn't the word...occupied maybe works better. Israel Ryan Baker was born March 28, 2010 at 1:34 am weighing 7 pounds & 6 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was and continues to be absolutely perfect. I love everything about him. I even love the curdled breast milk built up in the folds of his neck, that he screams bloody murder when Ryan and I try to remove said curds, I love that he puckers his lips and widens his eyes when he's pooping, I love that he curls up still into an oblong ball shape and falls asleep on my chest. I love being a mom. It's exhausting - way more so than I would have expected, but it's also more gratifying then any success I've had in my life thus far. It's changed me and my thinking in many ways - here are a few:

- I drive the speed limit now. Sometimes below it. It's not going to achieve anything if I get to my destination 5 minutes earlier except that I might be 15 minutes late rather than 20. Also, my hands are always in the 10 & 2 o'clock position because it brings great peace of mind feeling more in control of your vehicle.

- I'm late all the time. The simple process of grabbing my keys, hopping into the car and cruising to wherever is long gone. Now it's change the diaper, put on his onesie, pack up the diaper bag, put on my socks and shoes, load him into his car seat, check the diaper bag (shoot! forgot to put more wipes in!), look for my sunglasses (they're on top of my head - literally, this has happened twice), hear the sound of poop exploding from his bottom, drop everything and take him back in his nursery to change his diaper, rip the now-poop-stained changing pad sheet off and put it in the hamper, strap him back in his car seat, fill up my water bottle, grab him & the diaper bag and go out to the car, put his car seat in, realize I forgot my phone & his binky, take his car seat out, bring him back into the house to grab those last two items and then finally get him in the car and hop in the drivers seat. Only to have grabbed the wrong set of keys.

- I love my post-pregnant body. Granted it is far more out of shape than my pre-pregnancy body and that body wasn't all that in shape to begin with, but there's a new sense of calm that I have about losing weight. It's not really about losing weight at all, it's about being healthy. I have had one chance to go the gym since Izzy was born and it went well. I look forward to going back, but there's a different mindset now. It's not a forced to, have to, lose weight to feel great kind of thinking, it's more about exercising my lungs so I can push his stroller up Starlite, lifting weights so I can tote him around more easily, working on my core so I don't get a sore back from holding him all day. I love it. There is absolutely ZERO stress about getting skinny right away though. Zero. I never thought that would be the case, but I'm so refreshed with my own heart about that matter that it makes me smile.

Those are just a few of the wonderful new changes that have occurred over the last 6 weeks and 5 days. I'm sure there are many more to come.

A change is gonna come

Baby Baker is making his debut in less than a month. Our office is moving to a new location in less than a month. Now there's a chance that we'll be making an offer on a house in less than a month.

We're going all out...and I can't help but be terrified!!

I'm not a huge fan of change as it is; it's my fearful nature to automatically assume the worst is going to occur once you venture from steady to super.

What pushes a person to make the decisions we do? Is it fear of the future, boredom of the present, resentment of loss from the past? Is it as simple as a "pros" and "cons" list?

Thank you, Lord, for granting me the promise that You have all things planned already; all I need to do is heed Your voice. I pray for wisdom with all these changes. I ask that You would lead and guide - shut and open the right doors for us to proceed through. Thank you for how You've already showered down blessings on our family. Please allow me to recognize Your steady, unwavering hand carrying us through every checkpoint we come across in this life. This life. Just a blip. Thank you for the promise of eternity with You.