2 Timothy 1:7

Tattoos bother me. They didn't use to, but I'm quickly growing adverse to trends that become the norm rather than the rarity. Regardless, if I could tattoo one saying on my body, it would absolutely be 2 Timothy 1:7.

Since becoming a mom, my irrational fears have easily quadrupled. I used to be afraid of normal things and with fairly understandable reasoning: hiking in the woods (one too many Reader's Digest grizzly bear stories), scary movies (someone somewhere thought up those story lines, so as bizarre and farfetched as they may be...someone's mind is still capable), the dark (who isn't?), spiders, snakes and all forms of bug life (that scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where Kate Capshaw had to reach in that slot to free Indy and all those horrible bugs were crawling all over her), the dentist (every time it hurts - every single time!), etc.

Now, my fears all center around something happening to Israel, Ryan or I, but the most crippling are the thoughts that something would happen to Izzy and me having to live with it: someone kidnapping him, someone breaking into our house and hurting him and me being held back and unable to help or protect him - while those two are somewhat serious, I do have some pretty ridiculous notions: a snake weaving it's way into Izzy's crib, someone poisoning my breast pads and the poison transferring onto my skin and then to Izzy when he eats, masked intruders holding the grocery store hostage and taking him away from me. Although all of these aren't feasible, it's hard to shake the thoughts.

When is the other shoe going to drop? When is it going to be my Job moment? What's going to happen to hurt this perfect baby that Ryan and I have been blessed with and going to cause the two of us to cling to the Lord like never before? Or is it just the worrying in and of itself that is going to cause me to eventually lose my mind?

That's where that verse comes in. I have to repeat it over and over and over. I need it written on every surface in my home. The Lord did NOT give me a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. A sound mind. A sound mind. A sound mind.