Saturday, October 8, 2011

Math is a liar

It's been awhile. That would be because when you have one child and you add another child to the mix it actually adds up to more than two total children. It's more like seven. You're feeding one and then dressing the other and then changing the one's diaper and then soothing the next and then getting the one a treat while burping the other and then picking out clothes for the first while balancing the other on your hip as you pick up the toys of the one as your pull the dangerous object (fork, laundry detergent, toilet plunger) out of the crusty grip of the other - all the while keeping the laundry from resembling an actual mountain (that elder baby would like to either a. climb or b. pick apart and scatter throughout the house), the dishes from acquiring permanent levels of crust from sitting in the sink, the floor from becoming a minefield for breaking your back with wheeled toys and actual banana peels and accomplishing the basics of brushing your teeth (before 3 p.m.), getting dressed in something other than sweats and keeping your frig and pantry stocked with something other than canned beans and ketchup (which, actually, you can combine and it's a slightly less sweet version of baked beans).

Oh, and by the by, you're to do all of this on an average of 3 hours of sleep.

But guess how amazingly wonderful it is? I can't even put into words how much love I have for my beautiful babies, my hard working husband or this crazy exhausting life that we have going on right now. When you realize how blessed you are, it makes 2 a.m. feedings followed by the occasional 4 a.m. feeding, spit up stains on your favorite shirt, jeans that pinch your stomach so hard and still don't look quite right but you wear them anyway because you threw out all your maternity clothes, baby poop on the changing table cover you just washed, picking toilet paper off of the unspooled roll on the ground, under eye circles that defy even the thickest makeup, hours and sometimes days of saying sentences that rhyme, stomach "muscles" that look like an inverted backbone and toys with sing-song voices that make the munchkins from "Wizard of Oz" sound like a black gospel choir completely tolerable, even nice. Even precious...except for those d&*# toys that I literally want to throw into a freaking canyon. Although that wouldn't work cause then the sounds would just echo off the walls making the world come to an end. :)