Wonder. Do you have it?

Last year ruled.  In my list of 35 years on this planet, 2015 was an incredible one.  My relationship with the Lord is more tangible than before, my marriage has become a true partnership, my love of being a parent has deepened, my friendships are constantly becoming more honest and important to me, and physically I dropped some pounds and became even more capable of picking pounds up (bench is up to 100 lbs -  no big deal). 

Now staring at 2016 I sit back and think, “God…what would You have me to do this year”.  I love to have a Word of the Year and because I tend to be a thinker and dreamer, but a bit less of a doer I wanted a word to inspire and motivate me.  A couple words floated around in my mind but they were all too harsh: accomplish, execute, get your assss off the couch and go do something…

Then on a trip to Tahoe in December as I gazed out on hillsides saturated with heavily snowed-on trees and watched golden sunsets fall on a bright, beautiful lake I settled on a word that God breathed into my mind and heart: WONDER.  

There’s something easy and naive about that word.  It’s curiosity and adventure.  And I need that.  

I’m a stay-at-home mom and after five years of becoming more of a homebody than ever before with my two babes I really miss the world.  I miss the view of the valley from the top of Table Rock mountain.  I miss the smell of the Rogue River as I’m sitting on the bank watching my family skip rocks.  I miss the earthy smell of a forest hike, the salt and wind of the ocean and the beautiful, calm quiet that comes with fresh snow or a blacked out sky dancing with stars.  

And experiencing God…

Nothing, nothing, no church or sanctuary I’ve been in can compare to the beauty of God’s creation.  The moments I feel Him are more often than not when I’m outside, where I’m fully alive and human, and am experiencing the wonder of this planet in some way.  It’s sitting around a campfire, glancing up at stars, sipping spicy tea and laughing with friends.  Or standing on the shore of the ocean, looking at 30 different shades of blue, letting waves slowly creep up to circle around my ankles, smelling salt, feeling the wind and hearing that mesmerizing sound of wave after wave crash.  It’s gazing out as a peach sky frames in the mountains of the Applegate Valley, the (good) smell of farmland waves through the windows and the only thing louder than the wind whipping through the car is the stereo pumping out Zac Brown Band, Coldplay or James Bay.  It’s circling through the redwoods and glancing up at the green and brown giants whose tops I can’t begin to see and yet all have the same mission - pointing to the One Who made them.  

This year I’m diving headfirst into that.  Into exploring this world that’s full of wonder and invites the mind and heart to go beyond what they have seen or known.  It’s a chance to see and feel and experience how deep, how wide, how great IS His love for me. 

xx

Times they are a-changin'

Sitting here on the eve of my 35th birthday and having bumped into a friend from high school a couple nights ago while at a restaurant we joked about not feeling old.  And obviously, I’m not…compared to a 60 year old. But compared to a 21 year old…well?

And that’s what causes me to pause and think about how slowly and stealthily change has crept into my life in different ways: some funny, some interesting and some have me a little wary.  

1. I can’t shop at Zumiez anymore.  It’s just the way it is.  Having grown up in the 90’s when surf / skate / snowboarding was everything and any guy that was worth looking at was doing any or all of those things - I hope you can understand the sadness of this particular situation.  But that easy, breezy southern California style that has so faithfully carried me through most of my adult life - vintage tees, tight jeans, little sundresses - it’s just not gonna work anymore.  I never thought I’d grow out of it, but I honestly prefer a little more *ahem* grown-up look.  Granted trends have changed and all of that, but the last time I was in Zumiez looking at the sheer tees and hoodies, I felt myself having to breakup with it.  And it made me a little sad.  
2. Gray hair.  It’s happening.  I discovered my first looking in a mirror after washing my hands in a bathroom at the Woodburn Outlets.  And not just one…like 14.  Soooo, there’s that.  Hair appointments are now every 6 weeks. 
3. On that same Woodburn / Portland trip, my girls and I headed out for a late evening snack - donuts.  Our hotel was right next to Voodoo, so we skipped down to the lobby in our sweats and over a block to stand in line for that hit of sugar and fat.  Coming back into the lobby with our pink box of deliciousness we hit the elevator button to go back up to our room and when the door opened a slew of people came out.  They were all dressed to the nines, short, tight, sparkly dresses on the girls (who may or may not have been hired - truth) and the guys were all in black, clean lines and smelling really strongly of Paco Rabanne.  Carla, Codi and I looked at each other and happily passed them by, got in the elevator and rode up to our room.  I’m at that point.  The “I’d way rather sit in my hotel room and eat some donuts than get dressed up and go to a club” point.  No question.  And this comes from a girl who at age 21 was going to clubs on weeknights.  Again - truth.  
4. You know the running commentary of slight judgement against humanity driving that you have going on in your head most of the time?  Well, mine has always sided with those of the younger generation and most of my head shaking and occasional fists of fury (when you stick your arm up and shake your fist at whomever has upset you - it’s a Jenny Skudstad gesture) has gone towards senile drivers: they’re just bad at driving the speed limit, parking, navigating parking lots, using their turn signal too early, etc.  However, now I find myself thinking that maybe, MAYBE they’re actually the wise ones.  Sure, they don’t seem to notice others, but for the most part they’re being cautious with their speed, reeeeeeally making sure you know that they’re going to be turning a corner and forgive them for holding up traffic for 10 minutes just so they don’t have to park further than 4 spaces away from the entrance to a store.  If I had a bad hip I’d probably do the same.  It’s the youths now that “drive” me crazy.  GET OFF YOUR PHONE!!!  And slow down.  And use your turn signal.  And turn down that rubbish music you’re listening to.  See?  I’m literally turning into a geriatric as I’m writing this.  
5. I love a good, early bedtime.  Currently it’s 8:22 and I’m fully in bed and ready to shut things down within a half hour.  Gone are the evenings of 11:00/11:30 bedtimes because ohhhhh my goodness, if I had to go to bed that late and fully function as a parent / adult / wife / friend the next day - not good.  It’s not gonna be good.  
6. Playing cards with my friends is a perfectly acceptable way to spend a morning.  It reminds me of “I love Lucy” and how she and her friends used to play Bridge.  We don’t play Bridge, but if we learned it we might.  It’s a fun little scenario: four or five of us, looking at our cards and gabbing over coffee.  We’re the Golden Girls.  
7. Coffee is not so much a choice of beverage I have in the morning.  It is one of my lifelines.  I almost cried one morning because it was 10:30, I was feeling sluggish and tired and couldn’t figure out why until it dawned on me that I hadn’t had coffee yet.  Tears of joy, people, tears of joy. I don’t drink a lot - one cup, maybe two, but oh my goodness, it’s one of my favorite rituals of the morning.  

It’s fun and funny to see where the Lord has taken me.  So, here comes 35 and I’m not gonna fight it.  I am one to embrace my age. Birthdays aren’t a painful reminder of an inescapable truth of life - they’re a celebration of a person, and I love where life has me at this point.  Cheers to this next year.