Recently, there have been several occasions that I've wanted to be able to freeze and live in for more than the mere moment of their occurrence (wow, it took me 5 tries to spell occurrence correctly). One of them was last evening: I had fed Israel and he was propped up contentedly in his boppy gurgling and looking at the sun shining through the window. Ryan had just gotten out of the shower and was leaning over the bathroom counter in his towel and without sounding too much like a Danielle Steele novel, let me just say that his upper body is tan and slammin'! I was sitting in my rocking chair rubbing my freshly pedicured feet with this amazing lotion that regardless of how many days I've worn flip-flops in a row, makes them feel like a baby's bottom (which in and of itself is a very familiar surface lately). The breeze from the fan was hitting my shins, my hair was pulled up and off my neck, I could hear the dishwasher kicking on it's rinse cycle downstairs, I could smell the slightly minty scent of the lotion I was using - it was all just perfect.
That's a snapshot of real life accomplishment. At least for me. I never have been a super excel, high achieving, goal-oriented gal. B's were fine for me in school, work was always an end to the means, and TRULY the fact that I have a talent with my voice but am not singing to sold out arenas across the world is completely fine. But the feeling from last night, ahhh...I could breathe that in every minute of every day.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Whew!!
Okay, so obviously I haven't posted anything for awhile. That would be because I'm busier than I have ever been in my life. Actually, busy isn't the word...occupied maybe works better. Israel Ryan Baker was born March 28, 2010 at 1:34 am weighing 7 pounds & 6 ounces and was 20 inches long. He was and continues to be absolutely perfect. I love everything about him. I even love the curdled breast milk built up in the folds of his neck, that he screams bloody murder when Ryan and I try to remove said curds, I love that he puckers his lips and widens his eyes when he's pooping, I love that he curls up still into an oblong ball shape and falls asleep on my chest. I love being a mom. It's exhausting - way more so than I would have expected, but it's also more gratifying then any success I've had in my life thus far. It's changed me and my thinking in many ways - here are a few:
- I drive the speed limit now. Sometimes below it. It's not going to achieve anything if I get to my destination 5 minutes earlier except that I might be 15 minutes late rather than 20. Also, my hands are always in the 10 & 2 o'clock position because it brings great peace of mind feeling more in control of your vehicle.
- I'm late all the time. The simple process of grabbing my keys, hopping into the car and cruising to wherever is long gone. Now it's change the diaper, put on his onesie, pack up the diaper bag, put on my socks and shoes, load him into his car seat, check the diaper bag (shoot! forgot to put more wipes in!), look for my sunglasses (they're on top of my head - literally, this has happened twice), hear the sound of poop exploding from his bottom, drop everything and take him back in his nursery to change his diaper, rip the now-poop-stained changing pad sheet off and put it in the hamper, strap him back in his car seat, fill up my water bottle, grab him & the diaper bag and go out to the car, put his car seat in, realize I forgot my phone & his binky, take his car seat out, bring him back into the house to grab those last two items and then finally get him in the car and hop in the drivers seat. Only to have grabbed the wrong set of keys.
- I love my post-pregnant body. Granted it is far more out of shape than my pre-pregnancy body and that body wasn't all that in shape to begin with, but there's a new sense of calm that I have about losing weight. It's not really about losing weight at all, it's about being healthy. I have had one chance to go the gym since Izzy was born and it went well. I look forward to going back, but there's a different mindset now. It's not a forced to, have to, lose weight to feel great kind of thinking, it's more about exercising my lungs so I can push his stroller up Starlite, lifting weights so I can tote him around more easily, working on my core so I don't get a sore back from holding him all day. I love it. There is absolutely ZERO stress about getting skinny right away though. Zero. I never thought that would be the case, but I'm so refreshed with my own heart about that matter that it makes me smile.
Those are just a few of the wonderful new changes that have occurred over the last 6 weeks and 5 days. I'm sure there are many more to come.
- I drive the speed limit now. Sometimes below it. It's not going to achieve anything if I get to my destination 5 minutes earlier except that I might be 15 minutes late rather than 20. Also, my hands are always in the 10 & 2 o'clock position because it brings great peace of mind feeling more in control of your vehicle.
- I'm late all the time. The simple process of grabbing my keys, hopping into the car and cruising to wherever is long gone. Now it's change the diaper, put on his onesie, pack up the diaper bag, put on my socks and shoes, load him into his car seat, check the diaper bag (shoot! forgot to put more wipes in!), look for my sunglasses (they're on top of my head - literally, this has happened twice), hear the sound of poop exploding from his bottom, drop everything and take him back in his nursery to change his diaper, rip the now-poop-stained changing pad sheet off and put it in the hamper, strap him back in his car seat, fill up my water bottle, grab him & the diaper bag and go out to the car, put his car seat in, realize I forgot my phone & his binky, take his car seat out, bring him back into the house to grab those last two items and then finally get him in the car and hop in the drivers seat. Only to have grabbed the wrong set of keys.
- I love my post-pregnant body. Granted it is far more out of shape than my pre-pregnancy body and that body wasn't all that in shape to begin with, but there's a new sense of calm that I have about losing weight. It's not really about losing weight at all, it's about being healthy. I have had one chance to go the gym since Izzy was born and it went well. I look forward to going back, but there's a different mindset now. It's not a forced to, have to, lose weight to feel great kind of thinking, it's more about exercising my lungs so I can push his stroller up Starlite, lifting weights so I can tote him around more easily, working on my core so I don't get a sore back from holding him all day. I love it. There is absolutely ZERO stress about getting skinny right away though. Zero. I never thought that would be the case, but I'm so refreshed with my own heart about that matter that it makes me smile.
Those are just a few of the wonderful new changes that have occurred over the last 6 weeks and 5 days. I'm sure there are many more to come.
Monday, March 8, 2010
A change is gonna come
Baby Baker is making his debut in less than a month. Our office is moving to a new location in less than a month. Now there's a chance that we'll be making an offer on a house in less than a month.
We're going all out...and I can't help but be terrified!!
I'm not a huge fan of change as it is; it's my fearful nature to automatically assume the worst is going to occur once you venture from steady to super.
What pushes a person to make the decisions we do? Is it fear of the future, boredom of the present, resentment of loss from the past? Is it as simple as a "pros" and "cons" list?
Thank you, Lord, for granting me the promise that You have all things planned already; all I need to do is heed Your voice. I pray for wisdom with all these changes. I ask that You would lead and guide - shut and open the right doors for us to proceed through. Thank you for how You've already showered down blessings on our family. Please allow me to recognize Your steady, unwavering hand carrying us through every checkpoint we come across in this life. This life. Just a blip. Thank you for the promise of eternity with You.
We're going all out...and I can't help but be terrified!!
I'm not a huge fan of change as it is; it's my fearful nature to automatically assume the worst is going to occur once you venture from steady to super.
What pushes a person to make the decisions we do? Is it fear of the future, boredom of the present, resentment of loss from the past? Is it as simple as a "pros" and "cons" list?
Thank you, Lord, for granting me the promise that You have all things planned already; all I need to do is heed Your voice. I pray for wisdom with all these changes. I ask that You would lead and guide - shut and open the right doors for us to proceed through. Thank you for how You've already showered down blessings on our family. Please allow me to recognize Your steady, unwavering hand carrying us through every checkpoint we come across in this life. This life. Just a blip. Thank you for the promise of eternity with You.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
A good morning
Reading through Psalms 96 this morning and the tone of this chapter and the past several has been refreshing. Any scripture that references nature and the Lord's hand in creating the majesty throughout our world hits my heart in a powerful way. I've always felt the Lord's presence through two primary sources: the beauty of this earth and the sweetness of music. Combine the two and it's just a win-win-win.
The optimum is driving through the Redwoods en route to the Oregon coast with "Talk" by Coldplay on the cd player, the windows down, the sun shining...or sitting down with a cup of tea, reading the Word, listening to "I don't trust myself" by John Mayer, glancing out at the rain coming down...either situation is a wonderful mix of how the Lord is reflected in the weather and how the sound of music, not necessarily the lyrics, can pull on your heart.
The optimum is driving through the Redwoods en route to the Oregon coast with "Talk" by Coldplay on the cd player, the windows down, the sun shining...or sitting down with a cup of tea, reading the Word, listening to "I don't trust myself" by John Mayer, glancing out at the rain coming down...either situation is a wonderful mix of how the Lord is reflected in the weather and how the sound of music, not necessarily the lyrics, can pull on your heart.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
January Resolutions
I've decided that this year I'm not going to make New Years' Resolutions, rather I'll make January Resolutions. The years past have proven that about 4 days into each and every New Year my resolutions go out the window, so if I manage to keep them for these first 31 days, THEN I'll attempt them for the full 365:
1. No more refined sugar - this was promoted to my number one resolution after my glucose test came back as 2 points higher than optimal. I don't want to medicate my pregnant body, but since diabetes runs in my family there is a definite possibility of contracting gestational diabetes and wouldn't you know that one of the top difficulties in giving birth with that condition is that the baby is usually too big. As delightful as giving birth to a baby the size of Noel sounds I absolutely want to avoid that, so that means a change in diet and...
2. Exercise at least 30 minutes EVERY DAY - an obvious number two and a cliche one at that, but I enjoy working out and I've managed to become regular with it. However, these last few weeks I've slacked off big time. That could be because I don't allow anything outside of an hour and a half at the gym doing weights and cardio to be counted as a workout. I'm not going to have that luxury always though, so it's time to shape up, shake off the laziness that's crept into my routine and make a daily effort to move well.
3. Only check Facebook / email / websites I love 2x a day - Being online practically all day here at the office makes these distractions only a click away and while I know that this will be an easier resolution to obey once the baby comes (that is IF this one makes it through the month of January to become a full-blown resolution), I still want to detach myself from web 2.0 technology.
4. Devotions every morning - note I didn't say "first thing" every morning because that's too much pressure. I hit the snooze button several times to limit my get-ready time at the house down to the bare minimum & once I get to the office there are set-up tasks that have to be done right away. However, once those are out of the way, I want to get into the habit of settling down and reading the Word, journaling and praying. Making it a part of my morning will only lead to a happier, balanced day and who knows, maybe next year I can add the "first thing" suffix to this resolution.
5. Do something to bless Ryan every day - he is so good to me and I want to make his life the best it can possibly be. Whether it's a sweet love note or something very task-oriented like making his favorite lunch, I want to be thinking every day "How can I bless and make today great for him?"
That's it for now. I'm sure this list could get expounded on later, but I like to leave it at 5. It helps the anal-retentive part of my brain relax knowing I can count my new attempts at making this life better on one hand.
1. No more refined sugar - this was promoted to my number one resolution after my glucose test came back as 2 points higher than optimal. I don't want to medicate my pregnant body, but since diabetes runs in my family there is a definite possibility of contracting gestational diabetes and wouldn't you know that one of the top difficulties in giving birth with that condition is that the baby is usually too big. As delightful as giving birth to a baby the size of Noel sounds I absolutely want to avoid that, so that means a change in diet and...
2. Exercise at least 30 minutes EVERY DAY - an obvious number two and a cliche one at that, but I enjoy working out and I've managed to become regular with it. However, these last few weeks I've slacked off big time. That could be because I don't allow anything outside of an hour and a half at the gym doing weights and cardio to be counted as a workout. I'm not going to have that luxury always though, so it's time to shape up, shake off the laziness that's crept into my routine and make a daily effort to move well.
3. Only check Facebook / email / websites I love 2x a day - Being online practically all day here at the office makes these distractions only a click away and while I know that this will be an easier resolution to obey once the baby comes (that is IF this one makes it through the month of January to become a full-blown resolution), I still want to detach myself from web 2.0 technology.
4. Devotions every morning - note I didn't say "first thing" every morning because that's too much pressure. I hit the snooze button several times to limit my get-ready time at the house down to the bare minimum & once I get to the office there are set-up tasks that have to be done right away. However, once those are out of the way, I want to get into the habit of settling down and reading the Word, journaling and praying. Making it a part of my morning will only lead to a happier, balanced day and who knows, maybe next year I can add the "first thing" suffix to this resolution.
5. Do something to bless Ryan every day - he is so good to me and I want to make his life the best it can possibly be. Whether it's a sweet love note or something very task-oriented like making his favorite lunch, I want to be thinking every day "How can I bless and make today great for him?"
That's it for now. I'm sure this list could get expounded on later, but I like to leave it at 5. It helps the anal-retentive part of my brain relax knowing I can count my new attempts at making this life better on one hand.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Why is Coke so delicious?
I'm looking at the ingredients and there's only 6. That's pretty remarkable. Especially when you consider other drinks out there like Dr. Pepper who advertised that there are like 31 different tastes in one can - seriously, that ad campaign made me want to hurl.
I was a walking Coke commercial today though. It's really hot out, so I ran across the street from the office and bought a Coke in a bottle and popped it open on the street corner and drank it as I walked in front of the cars stopped for me in the crosswalk. Seriously, I'll bet at least one of them pulled in somewhere and bought a red can of delight.
Is it the old-school Americana idea of Coca-Cola that always makes it so yummy? It always reminds me of the 4th of July because my boyfriend when I was 20 always bought it in a glass bottle for that holiday. Also, I remember being a kid and going to work with my dad, getting a quarter out of the piggy bank off his desk, running across the dusty parking lot to the small soda vending machine, slipping the quarter in the slot, pushing the button for Coke and smiling HUGE as the glass bottle hit the bottom pocket. The machine had a little bottle opener on it's side, so I could always have my first sip as I walked back to the block plant.
Whatever the reason, Coca-Cola will always have a soft spot in my heart. It's high school football games, the gas station around the block from my parents' house, road trip stops, camping at the coast, swimming at the Illinois River, working the Lion's food booth with my fellow cheerleaders at the county fair, driving in Kelley's cream puff listening to Madonna and a hundred other memories. Good stuff.
I was a walking Coke commercial today though. It's really hot out, so I ran across the street from the office and bought a Coke in a bottle and popped it open on the street corner and drank it as I walked in front of the cars stopped for me in the crosswalk. Seriously, I'll bet at least one of them pulled in somewhere and bought a red can of delight.
Is it the old-school Americana idea of Coca-Cola that always makes it so yummy? It always reminds me of the 4th of July because my boyfriend when I was 20 always bought it in a glass bottle for that holiday. Also, I remember being a kid and going to work with my dad, getting a quarter out of the piggy bank off his desk, running across the dusty parking lot to the small soda vending machine, slipping the quarter in the slot, pushing the button for Coke and smiling HUGE as the glass bottle hit the bottom pocket. The machine had a little bottle opener on it's side, so I could always have my first sip as I walked back to the block plant.
Whatever the reason, Coca-Cola will always have a soft spot in my heart. It's high school football games, the gas station around the block from my parents' house, road trip stops, camping at the coast, swimming at the Illinois River, working the Lion's food booth with my fellow cheerleaders at the county fair, driving in Kelley's cream puff listening to Madonna and a hundred other memories. Good stuff.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Happy Senses
Just outside of Yreka on the way back from Redding this past weekend, I had one of "those" moments. The ones where you want time to freeze so you can forever enjoy everything your senses are experiencing at that very second. I was listening to India.Arie's first album, the sunroof of the car was open and the sun and breeze were on my shoulders and face, the sky was perfectly blue and full of variously shaped fluffy, white clouds, I was sipping on lemonade and with the outside being let in the car, it smelled like fall was in the air. It was absolutely lovely. I love living in Oregon!!
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