Wait, wait, waaaaaait!!

Oh my goodness, I’m going to have another baby. Don’t ask me why this thought hasn’t been repeating over and over in my head for the last 8 ½ months, because I can’t give you a definite answer. Yes, I’ve had my hands full raising baby #1, but at the same time surely there must have been some moments where the realization that one session of afternoon delight last October has now created a living, soon to be breathing-screaming-pooping little package?! Nope. Perhaps it’s been the distraction of Israel, or moving to a different house, or maybe my brother’s wedding, various holidays, cheesy TV shows I can’t get enough of or the development of new friendships, whatever the reason, I have completely put off the thought of having this baby until very, very recently. And when that reality hit it was like a mack truck.

They say that labor with your second is “easier” because you have been through the whole experience and so you know what to expect. But to me, that doesn’t make it easier. Are you kidding me? I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT! I can remember very vividly the pressure, the immense pain and the impossible feat of keeping calm and focusing on pushing this pot roast out of something originally intended to be the size of a dime (I know things change at that moment, but for dramatics sake). So to say that I am fearful of this upcoming, unavoidable situation would be an understatement.

Not to mention that I look around the playroom and get panicky thinking that I have not yet separated Izzy’s toddler toys from what will be Charlie Kate’s baby toys which means I need to get to Ross and get some baskets so I can have those organized, also I need to put her diapers on the changing table as well, oh and while I’m at that, we need to get to Ryan’s sister’s house and snag her changing table so I can have one upstairs in Charlie’s room cause lord knows, babies poop a LOT and I don’t want to be running up and down the stairs every single time if I can avoid it. Oh, and all those blankets need to be moved from the chest in the playroom into the storage area downstairs so I can have room to put the actual baby blankets in them. I need to hang those Brambly Hedge pictures in her room, plus, I should probably reorganize the bookshelves so that I can fit all the baby books on there so I can use the chest of drawers for storage in her room rather than a bookshelf…

Most people might see all those things as unnecessary and tell me to ease up and go with the flow, but that’s just not me. I have to be organized. I am very much OCD, like to a fault. For instance, I cannot just pack for a trip by throwing things in a suitcase. I have to have a list that I’ve constructed at least 24 hours prior to departure that lists either by day or by category the various clothes, toiletries and extras I’ll be taking. Every trip. Every time.

So with all this chaos and disorganization at home and fear of the impending birth situation, you’d think I’d be a stressed out lunatic, but wouldn’t you know how great and gracious our Lord is and at the exact time that the reality of my situation hit, He graced me with not one but two perfect people to talk to me and without their knowledge, give me such incredible reassurance and strength. Thank you, JP, for talking to me about the fear that you struggle with as a parent and how you have realized that trust in the Lord provides a better outcome in all situations. And thank you, Rebecca, for your calm words of advice, sweet prayer and mantra of turning every fear into a moment of faith. God is so good. I know that this baby will come, the delivery will be painful, but as soon as I see her little face, it will be completely worth it. And as far as my house and organizing it goes…that’s why I have a husband.