Agree to disagree

Watching Lady Gaga get interviewed on Ellen yesterday got me thinking about some of the ideas she was saying. She's very much about knowing and fiercely loving who you are and while I think that is a good way to live, that train of thought is really getting pushed in this day and age and it's making relationships with friends and strangers alike...blurry. Know yourself - yes. Love yourself - for sure. But I think it's dangerous when you start defining yourself as one thing or another and passionately clinging to that idea.

We are becoming these walking resolute beings that are cemented in our views on various topics, both serious and not so much: Republican vs. Democrat, vegetarian vs. meat eater, Starbucks vs. Dutch Bros., etc.

Because we have defined our point of view on something and grown to "love" ourselves and our opinions, when someone now disagrees with your philosophy on a topic, they're more or less disagreeing with who you are. Think about it, if you disagree with someone on something, it's usually a pretty strong difference and can easily end up in a argument, sometimes a heated one, and almost always results in one or the other thinking less of the opposite person. I've noticed this more as a parent because now that my decisions are affecting a completely helpless infant whose life depends on the choices I make, ideas like to vaccinate or not, to give formula or not and to let him watch TV or not all carry a lot more weight. And truthfully, I've had a couple friendships dissipate because of strong disagreements on these topics and others.

I'm not suggesting that we become ambivalent on all issues, because passion & conviction give our lives movement. And I think we should capitalize on the "love" emphasized in our current culture, but I believe rather then loving ourselves, a better mantra would be to really love others. It's the second half of the greatest commandment the Bible gives: Love God & love others. I have a lot of friends that aren't Christians, and I'm not using this as a platform to preach what I believe to be the saving truth for my life, but I CAN make an easy argument for the bonus of loving others more than yourself. If you're really honest, it's easy to see something positive about either side of any topic. Try playing devil's advocate, or if you're often in that role, try not so much :) You might find yourself liking people more and not getting as annoyed with friends and family you usually disagree with. And nothing is more fulfilling then having someone notice a change in your demeanor and themselves then honestly listen to what it is you have to say about something. Kindness can be so powerful.

Romans 12:18 - If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.